I went for an evening stroll around the old quarter in Hanoi. Feeling pretty hungry as I hadn't eaten since the morning, after 10 minutes I decided on a 'Restaurant/Bar' which seemed pretty local and cheap. I wanted to try some Pho - a very traditional Vietnamese noodle soup. I asked the young guy running it if he had it or if I could see a menu. There was no menu but he said he could do me what sounded like 'Garlic Dog'. He also showed me some frozen sausages and frozen ham. I decided just to have a beer. Later I found some Pho and delicious it was too - and nice and cheap which was a bonus.
Walking around Hanoi is not relaxing. Scooters race around dodging each other, cars, pedestrians. The constant honking of horns means that just walking a few streets can be a pretty stressful experience. Full of Pho, I went back to the hostel and had a good sleep.
The next day I decided to have a good explore and, after I'd explored the old quarter a bit, walked about half an hour to Ho Chi Minh's Mausoleum. Turns out it's only open til 11am each day so I had missed it by about an hour. Nevermind, it's quite an impressive building anyway.
It was as I was wandering about with my map, trying to decide where to go next that a local driver came up to me and offered me a tour.
'No, thank you' I declared confidently in my I've-been-offered-a-million-bike-tours-in-the-last-two-months-and-I-certainly-don't-need-yours voice.
But he was persistent, as they always are, and he told me he could show me some bits of planes that had come down during a US offensive during the war. It sounded interesting and he only wanted $5 for an hour's tour. Sounded good. Perhaps a little too good.
So within a couple of minutes I was on the back of Lamchau's bike and he was good to his word and showed me what he said he would. We even had a bit of a laugh and a joke as he pointed out some Hanoi landmarks. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy.
The trouble started when our hour was up and I wanted to go back to my hotel. Lamchau seemed fine with this and we set off back to the gayest-named hostel in the world, The Lucky Queen (it's not a gay hostel).
Lamchau wanted to stop off for a quick cup of tea as we passed his friend on the road, so he invited me to have a small cup for free and we were having a good laugh and a joke. Then talk turned to money and I asked whether he wanted the $5 now or when we got to the hotel. The conversation that ensued consisted of truths and lies on both of our parts.
Lamchau's claims...
I had agreed to pay in Vietnamese Dong (False).
He had been driving me round (True)...
...for 2 1/2 hours (False)
My claims
That his claims were false (True)
That I did not have much Dong on me (True)
I did not have my cash card to get money from the ATM (False)
It all got a bit heated and I suddenly felt very aware that there were no other Westeners around and Lamchau was getting quite aggressive. He wanted me to pay 1,000,000 Dong (about 30 quid). I refused but frankly wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. After an intimidating ten minutes I agreed to pay him 500,000 Dong which I had back at the hotel.
A tense journey back followed and I was glad that I hadn't wasted a photo on a picture of the two of us on the disposable camera I had bought earlier in the day.
He dropped me off. I paid him. He left.
Some cynics might see me as the gullible victim of a scam, but I like to look at this experience in a different way. By allowing Lamchau to intimidate me and agreeing to pay him the extortionate fee of 15 pounds, I made him into a half-millionaire. How often is it that we get the opportunity to turn someone's life around by giving them that sort of opportunity?
I will probably never be a millionaire. Now Lamchau is halfway there thanks to me.
Scam? No. Philanthropy under duress.
Walking around Hanoi is not relaxing. Scooters race around dodging each other, cars, pedestrians. The constant honking of horns means that just walking a few streets can be a pretty stressful experience. Full of Pho, I went back to the hostel and had a good sleep.
The next day I decided to have a good explore and, after I'd explored the old quarter a bit, walked about half an hour to Ho Chi Minh's Mausoleum. Turns out it's only open til 11am each day so I had missed it by about an hour. Nevermind, it's quite an impressive building anyway.
It was as I was wandering about with my map, trying to decide where to go next that a local driver came up to me and offered me a tour.
'No, thank you' I declared confidently in my I've-been-offered-a-million-bike-tours-in-the-last-two-months-and-I-certainly-don't-need-yours voice.
But he was persistent, as they always are, and he told me he could show me some bits of planes that had come down during a US offensive during the war. It sounded interesting and he only wanted $5 for an hour's tour. Sounded good. Perhaps a little too good.
So within a couple of minutes I was on the back of Lamchau's bike and he was good to his word and showed me what he said he would. We even had a bit of a laugh and a joke as he pointed out some Hanoi landmarks. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy.
The trouble started when our hour was up and I wanted to go back to my hotel. Lamchau seemed fine with this and we set off back to the gayest-named hostel in the world, The Lucky Queen (it's not a gay hostel).
Lamchau wanted to stop off for a quick cup of tea as we passed his friend on the road, so he invited me to have a small cup for free and we were having a good laugh and a joke. Then talk turned to money and I asked whether he wanted the $5 now or when we got to the hotel. The conversation that ensued consisted of truths and lies on both of our parts.
Lamchau's claims...
I had agreed to pay in Vietnamese Dong (False).
He had been driving me round (True)...
...for 2 1/2 hours (False)
My claims
That his claims were false (True)
That I did not have much Dong on me (True)
I did not have my cash card to get money from the ATM (False)
It all got a bit heated and I suddenly felt very aware that there were no other Westeners around and Lamchau was getting quite aggressive. He wanted me to pay 1,000,000 Dong (about 30 quid). I refused but frankly wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. After an intimidating ten minutes I agreed to pay him 500,000 Dong which I had back at the hotel.
A tense journey back followed and I was glad that I hadn't wasted a photo on a picture of the two of us on the disposable camera I had bought earlier in the day.
He dropped me off. I paid him. He left.
Some cynics might see me as the gullible victim of a scam, but I like to look at this experience in a different way. By allowing Lamchau to intimidate me and agreeing to pay him the extortionate fee of 15 pounds, I made him into a half-millionaire. How often is it that we get the opportunity to turn someone's life around by giving them that sort of opportunity?
I will probably never be a millionaire. Now Lamchau is halfway there thanks to me.
Scam? No. Philanthropy under duress.
Oh Good God. Time to come home.
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